12 ESFJs Explain The One Thing They Wish Others Understood About Their Personality

1. “We. Feel. Everything.”

2. “We’re NOT shallow and gossipy. We love people, but we LOVE them – that means respecting them and their confidentiality. Yes, we get enthusiastic, but we’re not the social butterfly-airheads that we’re often stereotyped to be.”

3. “We genuinely care about other people but appreciate it when other people ask us about OUR lives and problems too.”

4. “We’re sensitive but we’re not stupid – if you’ve betrayed our trust, don’t expect us to forget about it anytime soon!”

5. “We can’t help the fact that we feel and care. About everything all the time.”

6. “We feel everything. And we care deeply for others. When it comes to conflict with someone we care about, we have a tendency to try to avoid confrontation in order to not “rock the boat.” But if we don’t talk through it, eventually our feelings get the best of us and we become super passive aggressive. It’s a viscous cycle.”

7. “We’re passive aggressive because we HATE conflict, it makes us more stressed than anything. Please try to understand that about us.”

8. “We love to go out of our way for you. We love to take care of you and be there for you. But in that, we need to be affirmed. It’s not a selfish thing. It’s not about doing something to gain something in return. Indifference just hurts us because we put such value on our relationships. We care, and we want you to care, too.”

9. “When I don’t give my all at something, it’s not because I’m lazy or apathetic, it’s because I don’t see its value in helping other people.”

10. “We worry about you because we CARE. I know it can be a little annoying at times but please understand that it comes from a place of love.”

11. “By nature, when a person comes to us with something they’re struggling with, we want to be able to help, practically. It really sucks when we feel like we can’t do or say anything to make the situation better. I’m learning how to just be there (without talking or problem solving) for people when they need to vent and talk through their thoughts and emotions.”,

12.“For the most part, if we love you, we’re always going to put your needs above ours. But that doesn’t mean our needs don’t exist. It means a lot to us when you notice that and are proactive in caring for us, too!”